Part 8 Fast Phobia Model
FAST PHOBIA CURE
(After Richard Bandler)
A technique for reducing or ridding oneself of an illogical fear.
1. Establish a resource anchor, a place of safety, stacking positive states if necessary. (After listening to Module 4 Audios, see DVD ‘Fast Phobia Cure’ and Manual Module 5 ‘Anchoring’, for further clarity.)
2. Acknowledge the person’s phobia as proof of their ability to learn quickly and never forget.
3. Have the person imagine they are sitting in the front row of a cinema looking up at a blank screen. Have them imagine themselves in the front row and yet floating out of their body into the projection booth so that they can see, through the thick glass of the projection room, their other self sitting in the cinema’s front row looking up at the screen. 4. Have them watch their other self in the front row, watching themselves on the screen, which is showing a typical phobia event personal to them. As they are experiencing their phobic response on the film, have them run the movie forward in black and white.
5. When the movie comes to an end have them white-out or black-out the screen.
6. Have them associate into the movie screen and run the movie at high speed backwards in colour.
7. When they get to the beginning of the movie, white-out or black-out the screen.
8. Repeat steps 4-7 until they can no longer access the negative feeling internally; the Ki= has totally gone. (Note: When writing the ‘shorthand coding’ in NLP, an internal feeling, ‘Kinaesthetic internal’ is usually written as ‘Ki’ to differentiate from touch, coded as Ke –Kinaesthetic external.)
9. Test and Future Pace.
10. Check ecology. If necessary use a SWISH pattern to install a new, more appropriate behaviour. (See for the SWISH script.
REFRAMING
Every behaviour and every experience in the world is appropriate, given some context or ’frame’.
A behaviour may not be useful in the present circumstance, but there is a context, a situation, where the same behaviour would be very useful.
Reframing takes the Internal Representation and changes its Meaning by changing the Context. This changes the State and Behaviour by Separating the Positive Intention from the Behaviour itself. Context Reframe Use with a problem that is expressed as a Comparative Deletion ‘too’, ‘more’, ‘less’, and adverbs and adjectives ending in –er. (He can run faster than me. She’s the clever one.) E.g. “I’m too…..”, “He’s too…..”, “They’re too…..”, “It’s too…..” Process: Think of a different context in which the problem behaviour would have a very different meaning.
Let’s use the example where a wilful, headstrong youngster gets in trouble in school. New Context: When they go out into the world they’re less likely to be pushed around because they know their own mind and know what they want.
Meaning Reframe
Use with a problem that is expressed as a Complex Equivalence or a Cause – Effect. E.g. “Whenever X, I respond Y.” Process: Ask yourself: –
“What else could X mean?”
“What other positive value or meaning could this have?”
“Think of an opposite frame”
“What hasn’t this person noticed in this context which, if they did, would change the meaning?”
REFRAMING THE HIGHEST INTENTION
“A problem is a problem because the behaviour is in conflict with the highest intention of the behaviour” Applying the premise that ‘all behaviour has a positive intention,’ read through the following example below, starting at the bottom, (“Is it okay to let the sadness go?”). As you chunk up the conflict between the behaviour (feeling sad) and its highest intention to keep the person happy by feeling safe, thinking about other people’s behaviour and what might be the positive intention behind it.
Six Step Reframe
USE THIS WHEN:
You identify a part that is incongruent with the person’s outcome. By incongruent we mean that there is a mismatch between the outcome and a part of them wanting something else. E.g. ‘I want a close, loving relationship (Part A) but I’m afraid of being trapped.’ (Part B)
You identify Secondary Gain. Secondary gain is where an individual has a payback from the problem which sabotages their attempts to change. E.g. Someone who has been ill may not really want to get better quickly because they have the secondary gain of getting lots of love and attention.
THE PROCESS
1. Identify the Unwanted or Problem Behaviour.
2. Establish communication with the Part that is responsible for the Behaviour
identified.
“Will the Part responsible for X be willing to communicate in consciousness now?”
NOTE: Get Yes – No Signal. This can be a simple nod or shake of the head.
3. Separate the Highest Positive Intention of the Part and acknowledge the Part. (Simply thanking it for communicating consciously will do.)
“What is your purpose in doing X? What’s the highest positive intention?”
4. Generate new choices for achieving the intention identified in Step 3.
“Ask your unconscious mind to search through all your memories and generate at least three alternatives which will completely satisfy the intention.
Have the Unconscious provide a Yes/No signal once it has found three options.
5. Check for congruency of the new choices with all other possible choices:
“Is the unconscious mind willing to take responsibility for implementing these alternatives in an appropriate context?”
– If No – go back to Step 4 and create more choices.- If Yes – proceed to Step 6.
6. Test and Future Pace.
Ask: “Is there any Part of me that objects to any of the new alternatives? If there is a ‘Yes’ cycle back to Step 2.
Thank all the Parts involved. Future pace by taking the person into the future to an episode where the old behaviour would have occurred and notice how it is different now.
Visual Squash & Parts Integration
WHAT ARE PARTS?
After Richard Bandler
1. Parts, essentially, are a separate ‘mini version’ of you that operates alongside, but detached from, the rest of ‘you’.
2. A Part will have its own intention for you and can exhibit behaviour that seems ‘out of character’ for you. You hear people say things like, “That really wasn’t like me at all. Sorry.” Or, “I don’t know what came over me.”
3. Parts are a ‘boundary’, a block to our unconscious operating as a whole, aligned entity. They are operationally detached from the rest of the unconscious mind.
4. Parts function with their own Values and Beliefs and these are often at odds with your ‘mainstream’ Values and Beliefs, hence the conflict and uncharacteristic reactions in certain contexts.
5. They often represent minor personalities and/or significant others from our childhood from the Imprint Period (from birth to about 7 years) and the Modelling Period which follows from about 7 years to 14 years of age. We can say this because in a Parts Integration process we ask, “Does the Part look like anyone you know?” Invariably it does.
6. The consensus in NLP is largely that Parts are created from Significant Emotional Events (SEE). The event itself does not have to be particularly traumatic, either in retrospect or to an outside view. It merely has to be ‘felt intensely’ as such at the time, in order to create unconsciously, a Part that will operate to protect the individual of that time, whenever it was the SEE occurred.
7. Parts have a ‘date of birth’ when they were created. Again in Parts Integration we can usually establish the time of creation by simply questioning the Part.
8. Parts are very common, possibly universal and in no way suggest any mental issues. Other factors are needed before multiple Parts become a serious problem for an individual. (See diagram below.)
9. Parts create incongruity in individuals because there is a difference between the ‘highest intention’ or ‘purpose’ the Part has for the person and the actual output, the behaviour exhibited, which is at odds with the rest of the unconscious.
10. It is because the Part is not integrated into the larger whole of the unconscious that inner conflict occurs. People may even say, “A part of me wants to do X, but a part of me doesn’t.” Moreover, they do not know why.
11. To identify a Part, presupposes that an opposite Part exists, its alter-ego.
12. Both these Parts will share the same highest intention for the person. (Safety, Peace etc. and by ‘Chunking Up’ both Parts, we can uncover the shared purpose of the
Parts.
13. Both Parts were once part of a larger whole and once their common highest intention is uncovered the way is open for re-integration into the larger whole.
The picture below is to illustrate that a Part is a component of the larger self and the larger whole, the Unconscious Mind, but it functions as a detached operator. Following its creation by what it deemed at the time, to be a Significant Emotional Event (SEE), it functions independently and inevitably will come into conflict with the rest of the Unconscious which is operating from different Values and Beliefs.
BOUNDARY CONDITIONS IN THE NERVOUS SYSTEM
VISUAL SQUASH – PARTS INTEGRATION
Use when:
Internal Conflict:
“A Part of me wants X, a Part of me wants Y.”
“I feel like I’m being pulled part.”
“I’m torn in two directions.”
“On the one hand X, on the other Y.”
“A Part of me says it’s not okay.”
Incongruent Behaviour:
“I don’t know why I did it, it’s just not me.”
“I don’t know why I did it, I wasn’t myself.”
Sequential Incongruence:
“One minute I’m happy, the next I’m sad and I don’t know why?”
Part Time Problems:
Person: “I can’t make enough money.”
Practitioner: “Are you sure?”
Person: “No. Sometimes I think, ‘I can,’ sometimes I think, ‘I can’t!’”
Any Other Incongruence.
A process to bring a Part back into the Unconscious as a whole. A Part and its Counter Part, share a common Highest Intention for the person. We ‘chunk up’ to uncover the highest intention to permit integration, leaving the issue of the conflict-creating behaviour behind.
VISUAL SQUASH – PARTS INTEGRATION
1. Identify the conflict. (Make sure you have an obvious Problem Part.)
2. Bring the Problem Part out on hand first. “On which hand would that Part like to come out and be present?” “Would it like to be at the front, middle or back of the hand?” Thank the Part for co-operating.
3. Find the Part in the most conflict. “Can you find the Part that is in most conflict with that Part? It’s the opposite number, the flip side of the coin. Ask it to come out on the other hand. Whereabouts does it want to be?”
4. Personify each Part. “Does that Part look like anyone you recognise, sound like someone you know or feel like someone you are familiar with?”
If a person says, “No,” respond, “Could it?” Repeat for the other Part.
5. Separate the Problem Part’s Intention from its Behaviour. “X, for what purpose?” “What does this do for you?” (Make sure the person stays, associated.) “What is the highest intention in that?” Important: Keep chunking up with the same questions until the boundary on the Problem Part blows out.
6. Find the same Highest Intention for the other Part:
Same highest intention.
Different useful behaviour.
Different useful knowledge and wisdom.
Remind the Part it was once Part of a larger whole.
Ask if any other Parts want to join the integration.
7. Ask the Parts, “Now you both have the same highest intention for this person are you willing to integrate a combined new Part with rest of Unconscious Mind?” If ‘Yes’ tell them to “Come together now.” Notice how they unconsciously move together. If they move slowly encourage them to, ‘Come together now.’
8. Test and Future Pace. “Can you think of an event in the future, an event which if it had happened in the past you’d have experienced your old conflict and noticed how it’s different now?”
Agreement Frame & Negotiation Model
NEGOTIATION MODEL
Negotiate – The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘negotiate’ as:
‘1. v.i. to confer (with another) with a view to compromise or agreement.’
‘ 2. v.t. to arrange, bring about (desired result), by negotiating.’
This process is intended to help you facilitate an agreement between two other parties, or between yourself and one other party. The purpose is to drive towards a compromise, a common goal, and acceptable to both parties. To reach that purpose the first part of the process is to have all individuals ‘chunk
up’ until there is common ground for agreement. (See Chunking – Hierarchy of Ideas.) More often than not, this will be a Nominalisation.
The second part of the process is then to get each party to ‘chunk down’ only as quickly and as far as the parties can maintain the agreement. If a disagreement occurs immediately chunk up to a previously agreed level.
The Planning Stage:
1. Decide on your outcome. Make it as clear and refined as possible and described in at least the three main Representational Systems, VAK.
2. Create as many options of achieving the outcome as possible. This gives you the flexibility required to establish the most effective and successful path to reach your outcome. By avoiding a fixed position you are escaping the risk of being ‘boxed in’. Make sure you have thought out your upper and lower limits of acceptability within the context.
3. Focus on positive possibilities i.e. What are likely areas of Agreement?
4. Next, identify the ‘problem areas’ and how they might be approached in discussion.
5. Decide on your best acceptable alternative to a full agreement. i.e. What is the lowest level of compromise that you can and will accept?
The Negotiation: Stage 1 – Opening Dialogue
1. Establish Rapport. Rapport is essential and you can be in rapport with someone you dislike.
2. Discuss and agree the basis for negotiation. There has to be a consensus between the parties that there is a basis for negotiation in the first place.
3. Using ‘Act As If’ approach, accept the other negotiator as ‘qualified’.
4. Using ‘Act As If’ approach, determine the other negotiator’s outcome so you have a starting point.
The NLP Negotiation Model:
The Negotiation: Stage 2 – Negotiating
1. Clearly state areas of agreement and stay within those borders.
2. As negotiation proceeds subtly Anchor useful states for later utilisation.
3. Clearly state areas that need to be resolved. Identification and clarity on each issue, whether agreed or not, is essential.
4. Search for the other negotiator’s outcomes in each area yet to be resolved.
5. Create options that address and honour the parties’ outcomes as far as possible.
Continually remind of shared outcomes or other common ground.
Request their input in creating options; include them in developing possibilities.
Get the other party/parties to state, in order of preference, the options created thus far.
Emphasise an objective, dissociated assessment for choosing a particular option.
Select one option that best serves both parties and begin to close.
In closing a deal make sure you include a clear summary of the main points and an
Action Plan for implementation, followed by a declaration of first steps.
Main Caveats:
1. Constantly seek the intention behind the behaviour.
2. Drill down – seek the ‘root cause’.
3. Avoid counter proposals – acknowledge and validate the proposal offered and seek clarification before negotiation. Never assume you understand completely –The map is not the territory.
4. Anticipate likely objections in advance and work out possible solutions before you meet.
5. Use 1st Person language to avoid accusatory statements.
“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I get the full meaning on this point. Would you kindly explain further to help me understand better.
Rather than: “Well you didn’t explain that very clearly, did you?”
6. Repeat significant expressions accurately to show that you have really heard what has been said.
7. Always begin by stating your reasons first, then explain them in more detail, BEFORE making a proposal.
This ensures that it is seen by the other negotiator that they are dealing with a logical, personal interest and commitment to finding a deal, instead of ‘just a deal maker’.
The reverse order, beginning with a proposal, tends to give the impression of mercenary motivation and even aggression – ‘This is what I want, now give it to me!
8. If you hit a ‘brick wall ‘ i.e. stuck with no agreement –
STOP what you are doing.
Generate at least three options for different actions.
Select the best option and run with it.
The Purpose of The Agreement Frame
To allow rapport to be maintained with anyone in the face of conflict.
To provide ‘space’, a ‘safe zone’, for the other person to hear your viewpoint. It also gives permission for that person to express their view too.
The outcome of the Agreement Frame is to persuade the other individual to agree to your model of the world in this given context.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines agreement n. as: mutual understanding; covenant, treaty; (Law) arrangement undertaken by and legally binding on parties; holding of similar opinion; state of being harmonious
Disagreements usually occur because:
One or both parties have chunked down into such specific details that they have lost sight of the original intention of the negotiation. As an office cartoon stated, “When you’re up to your neck in alligators, it’s difficult to remember your intention was to drain the swamp!”
Or they hallucinate that the other party neither understands/cares/ respects/agrees/(fill in the blank) with their view. That ‘invented view’ prevents them from being willing to understand/care/respect etc. the opposing party’s views.
Or they simply do not believe their message has been heard.
THE PROCESS OF THE AGREEMENT FRAME
Firstly, the Agreement Frame aims to eliminate three negative auditory anchors that tend to create resistance. When you read them, (given below), think about your response when someone says them to you. Secondly, the Agreement Frame trains your ear, getting you to listen closely. Listening
will help you to find some element (in the opposing person’s views,) that you can agree with, a ‘way in’ to the negotiation process. The three negative auditory anchors are: ‘I understand’, ‘but’ and ‘however’.
1. Eliminate: ‘I understand.’
The reason for this is simple – No you don’t understand.
This is because they have an utterly unique ‘take’ on the world, as do you. Think how you react when someone says that to you.
What would you say next?
You would probably say something like, ‘No you don’t! You have no idea how upset I am because…’ The person is telling a truth. No matter how empathic we may be we cannot understand how that feeling operates in their neurology. Replace with: ‘I appreciate…’ or ‘I respect your view’ (whatever they say) or ‘I agree…’ Never use all three of the above replacement phrases at once! For example: ‘I appreciate, respect and agree that your desire to strike is intended to bring to management’s attention that you’re unhappy with…’ That’s just a wind-up!
2. Eliminate: ‘But’ and
3. Eliminate: ‘However’
These words negate what went before. ‘That’s a fair point but…’ ‘You make a good case, however…’
Replace ‘but’ and ‘however’ with: ‘and’
“I can appreciate your view on this and…”
Perceptual Positions
Wisdom comes from multiple perspectives.
This process is to help you guide a person to a more resourceful state by exploring the Problem through multiple perspectives.
Transformational Metaphors
Stories to transform
Use the boxes below to jot down notes as you interview the person for whom you are going to create the transformational metaphor.
1. Gather information: 2. Lateral Chunking
a) What is this an example of?
b) What are other examples of this?
3. Create a bridge from the Present State to the Desired State in a way that there is no conscious connection. 4. Deliver the metaphor
Metaphors
Metaphors are figures of speech that describe something in terms of something else, often to create a comparison that helps the reader or listener understand the idea being presented in a more vivid and memorable way. In a metaphor, one thing is said to be another thing, even though the two are not literally the same.
For example, “Life is a journey” is a common metaphor. It suggests that just as a journey has its ups and downs, twists and turns, and unexpected detours, so too does life have its challenges and surprises.
Other examples of metaphors include “love is a rose,” “the world is a stage,” “her voice is music to my ears,” and “time is a thief.” Metaphors can be found in literature, poetry, and everyday language, and they can help to add depth and richness to our understanding of the world around us
Example Of A Metaphor:
Designing A Metaphor
Process
Goodbye
WHERE CAN NLP BE USED?
With yourself or others, at work, home, or at play!
NLP IN BUSINESS
NLP IN SALES
NLP IN MANAGEMENT
NLP IN NEGOTIATION
NLP IN MODELLING EXCELLENCE
NLP IN PRESENTATIONS
NLP IN TRAINING
NLP IN EDUCATION (ALL LEVELS)
NLP IN COACHING
NLP IN THERAPY
NLP IN SELF-DEVELOPMENT
NLP IN PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
NLP IN RELATIONSHIPS (PERSONAL/ PROFESSIONAL)
IN FACT, NLP CAN HELP IN ANY SITUATION THAT INCLUDES HUMAN INTERACTION
