PART 3 GOALS
IS IT A ‘STATE’ OR A ‘GOAL’?
All About Goals
Goals are desired outcomes or targets that a person, group, or organization intends to achieve within a specified period. They provide direction and motivation, help to prioritize actions and decisions, and serve as a basis for evaluating progress and success. Goals can be short-term or long-term, tangible or intangible, and can cover various aspects of life, such as career, education, health, relationships, personal growth, and community involvement. Effective goal setting involves defining specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound objectives that align with one’s values and vision, and developing a plan of action to reach them.
YOUR ASPIRATIONS – FREE WRITING
Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.‛ Samuel Johnson
Take 15 minutes and write down your aspirations for yourself and what, if anything, gets in the way of achieving them. Use Free Writing – whatever comes to mind, write it down.
YOUR ASPIRATIONS – CONTINUED
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.‛
Thomas A. Edison
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.‛
Translated from Goethe’s ‘Faust’
Find some quiet space to reflect on what you really want and what you don’t want and then enter these reflections in the appropriate box. When you have completed all four boxes take each entry in the “Don’t Want and Have” box and ask yourself, “What do you want instead?” When you have a positive answer, put this in the box “Want and Don’t Have”. Then prioritise all the entries in the box “Want and Don’t Have”.
Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.‛ C.Bard
Take an issue and take a moment to reflect on the first set of questions
in Frame A, break state and then move on to reflect on the set of questions in Frame B.
Contrast the internal representations of Frame A to Frame B.
Recent research has shown that we have some 60,000-90,000 thoughts a day. When you habitually focus your attention on something, you tend to get more of it in your life. Consequently, if you look for problems, you will find plenty of them. Wasting time contemplating what’s failed in the past will always limit your ability to move on. As Richard Bandler says, “The good thing about the past is that it’s over!” NLP has a practical technique of thinking in terms of an outcome frame, instead of a ‘problem frame’; this is a practical tool you can use to lever yourself out of the rut of problem-centered thinking. Instead of “What’s wrong?” you start from a different point by asking, “What is it I really want?”
Exercise 2: Positive Outcome Expression
Determine which of the following outcomes are positive. For those that are not, rewrite the outcome, so it is.
CREATING COMPELLING GOALS
The real contest is always between what you’ve done and what you’re capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else.‛ Geoffrey Gaberino
Imagine what it would be like if there was a strategy that would enable you to achieve your goals, objectives and outcomes.
The most basic and the most important question you can ask yourself or another is, “What do you want?” Without an answer to this, you are adrift without direction. No matter what you do, if you are unclear as to what you want, you could end up anywhere. You wouldn’t go to the travel agent and say, ‘I want to go on holiday?’ The agent replies, ‘Where to?’ and you respond, ‘I don’t know. Anywhere will do.’ That’s crazy because where you end up may not be to your liking. However, a lot of people go through life without clear goals. Everything we ever do has a purpose, a function. We may not be always aware of what it is, but it is there nonetheless. You, and only you, are in charge of your life; being clear about what you want and making it happen is taking 100% responsibility and the key to taking control of your life. A lot of people mistake tasks for outcomes. A series of tasks are the actions that you do to move you toward the outcome you want to achieve. The tasks may or may not be pleasant, though they may be essential to achieving the goal. Any outcome requires effort and output. If you are clear about what you want, and you state it positively (as opposed to saying what you don’t want) you will bring more energy to the issues as you are driven towards the reward, the Desired Outcome. Like the travel agent example, if you buy a train ticket to anywhere, you could end up worse off.
Often people are able to describe, sometimes in detail, what it is they are doing wrong, as far as they are concerned. They blame themselves, their parents, other people, school, a lack of wealth, and a host of other possibilities, for not having the life they want. However, they are continually harking back to the past. ‘If only I had been luckier back then, etc.’ ‘If only…’ will never get you to a goal because it’s like driving forward whilst looking in the rearview mirror, it has dire consequences. It is for this reason that negatively stated goals are never as effective as positively stated ones. ‘Giving up smoking’ doesn’t have the same drive neurologically, as ‘I want to be a healthy non-smoker’ which has positive results attached to it. Our unconscious is continually seeking more, therefore, a ‘taking away’ does not engage the unconscious as effectively as a positive ‘gaining’ goal statement. ‘Losing weight’ will not be as effective as ‘I want to be a size X because that will confirm I’m fitter and healthier etc.
So, ‘What do you want?’ People that are able to achieve their goals and have the life they want to have compelling goals. They are very clear about what they want and create them in a way that motivates them constantly, even through tough times. Modelling is the process of eliciting the psychological frames or mindsets of successful and motivated people – it is the principal methodology of NLP. When researchers applied
Modelling skills to subjects that were high achievers, they discovered that it is ‘the difference that makes the difference’; in other words, it is the adjustments in the mindset that create the demonstrable/observable success in high-achievers. This is not copying per se, it is finding the keys to achieving and running them through your neurology and thereby creating a goal that compels and motivates you to do all that is necessary to achieve your outcome.
An outcome needs to be clearly defined in what you will see, hear, and feel when you have achieved it. A goal or outcome is a detailed, sensory-specific description that incorporates at least the three main Representational Systems (Visual, Auditory & Kinaesthetic) and, if appropriate, Smell and Taste. It must also adhere to the Well-Formedness Conditions as described on the audio
An outcome is what you really want, not what you don’t want. It needs to be ecological, i.e. you have thought through the impact attaining the goal will have on your life, your loved ones, work, etc. Outcomes need to be stated in a positive, attainable, and as stated above, ecological to
you and your world.
This GOAL achievement process and well-formed outcome strategy provide you with a set of questions that when you follow will enable you to create and achieve compelling goals.
Writing goals down helps the reflection and clarification process. Take some moments to reflect on what you want and write them down.
WHEEL OF SUCCESS
The Study of Consequences ‘It’s all about Balance’
QUESTIONS TO CREATE ACHIEVABLE OUTCOMES
Start by asking yourself: “How is it, that I haven’t achieved this yet?” You are looking for possible obstacles that need surmounting.
1. State the question and the answer, in the positive.
“What, specifically, do I want?”
2. Specify the present situation compared to the outcome.
“Where am I now in relation to the outcome?”
3. Specify the outcome in sensory detail.
“What will I see, hear, feel, etc., when I’ve achieved this?”
4. Specify evidence procedure.
“How will I know when I’ve achieved this?” VAK specific.
5. Is it congruently desirable?
“What will this outcome get for me or allow me to do that I otherwise would not have?”
6. Is it self-initiated and self-maintained?
“Is this outcome only for me?”
7. Is it appropriately contextualized?
“Where, when, how, and with whom do I want to achieve this?”
8. What resources are needed?
“What do I have now, and what do I need, in order to get my outcome?”
“Have I ever had or done this before?”
“Do I know anyone who has?”
“Can I act as if I’ve already achieved this?”
9. Is it ecological? What is the impact on others around you?
“For what purpose do I want this?”
“What will I gain if I have it?”
“What will I lose if I get it?
THE CARTESIAN CO-ORDINATES
Answer these important questions honestly!
WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN I GET IT?
WHAT WON’T HAPPEN WHEN I GET IT?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON’T GET IT?
WHAT WON’T HAPPEN IF I DON’T GET IT?
FINDING HOW YOU CODE TIME
How we code time inside our minds has a profound impact on our lives.
Find a space where you can put out your arms without knocking into anyone or anything.
This is best done with your eyes closed.
Ask: “If I were to point to my Past, where would it be?”
Ask: “If I were to point to my Future, where would it be?”
With the arms still pointing out to Past and Future, ask, “And just notice where the present is for me. Now open your eyes and notice where you’re pointing.” If someone else has difficulty locating their Timeline, ask them to do the following:
1. Think about something that happened yesterday and notice where it seems to be in
relation to you.
2. Now think of something that happened in the last month and notice where it is in
relation to you.
3. Now think of last Christmas or last year’s holiday.
4. Notice how the memories of the Past have a direction to them. Point one arm in
5. Do the same for the Future. Then ask them to open their eyes.
There are two particularly common Timelines. They are called ‘Through Time’ and ‘In Time’. ‘Through Time’ individuals have the Past, Present and Future laid out just in front of them, from left to right, with the Present just in front of them. ‘In Time’ people have their Past somewhere behind them and the Future somewhere in front of them. The Present tends to be just behind their eyes. NLP recognises that there is no one way to code time and however you arrange time inside your head is right for you. Nevertheless, it can be changed, and that will have follow-on effects. If your time coding is not as useful as it might be, change it and notice what happens. You can always revert to your original Timeline any time you choose.
The NLP PRESENT Process
“Is your Goal Positive ?’ ‘How much do you want it out of 10?”
“Are you Responsible for your Goal, do you own it?”
“When & Where do you want to be when you get your goal ?”
“What will you see, hear & feel to know you’ve got your goal ?”
“What will the impact be on you and others when you get your goal ?”
“Acting ‘As If’ you have already attained your goal, go and stand on that point in
your future, wherever it is for you and my question to you is, ‘What was the last step
you needed to take to get your goal?’”
Look Back and Ask these Questions :
What was the last thing you did to get this goal?
What did you see, feel & hear to know you got it?
Give 3 things that surprised you about getting the goal? Was it worth it?
Give 3 obstacles that you overcame?
Surprises and Obstacles Overcome
Remember to “ACT as IF”
Remember to STEP into the Future!
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN GOALS
1. When YOU start by deciding today to take 100% responsibility for achieving all your
goals and start doing things on your own…you probably will find you’ll attract support!
2. If you are not willing to take responsibility for your own goals you probably find you
won’t get the support you’d like to have!
3. There is a benefit from not taking 100% responsibility and it tends to mean you’ll be
able to blame other things…not a useful frame of mind!
Well-formed Outcomes 1-3
Well-Formed Outcomes 4-9
Exercise – Cartesian Co-Ordinates:
Making Goals Work