Life Coaching with NLP

What is Coaching?

Coaching in general is a process that involves working with individuals to help them achieve their goals, improve their performance, and develop their skills. Here are some common steps in the coaching process:

  1. Establishing goals: The coach and the client work together to identify specific goals and outcomes that the client wants to achieve.
  2. Assessing the current situation: The coach gathers information about the client’s current situation, strengths, and areas for improvement, to understand where the client is starting from.
  3. Developing an action plan: The coach and the client work together to develop a plan that outlines specific steps and strategies that will help the client achieve their goals.
  4. Taking action: The client implements the action plan, with support and guidance from the coach.
  5. Reflecting on progress: The coach and the client regularly review progress toward the goals, celebrate successes, and identify areas for further growth.
  6. Adjusting the plan: Based on the progress and feedback, the coach and the client may adjust the action plan to keep the client moving forward toward their goals.
  7. Evaluating the coaching relationship: The coach and the client periodically evaluate their working relationship to ensure it is effective and meets the client’s needs.

These steps may vary depending on the coaching approach, goals, and the client’s needs. However, they provide a general framework for the coaching process.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) coaching is a type of coaching that draws on principles from psychology, linguistics, and communication to help individuals achieve their goals, improve their performance, and develop their skills. Here are some key aspects of NLP coaching:

  1. Building rapport: The coach establishes a strong connection and rapport with the client, which is essential for effective communication and trust.
  2. Identifying limiting beliefs: The coach helps the client identify any limiting beliefs or patterns of thinking that are holding them back from achieving their goals.
  3. Reframing: The coach helps the client reframe their thoughts and beliefs, using language and visualization techniques to create a more positive and empowering mindset.
  4. Setting goals: The coach works with the client to set clear, specific, and measurable goals that are aligned with their values and vision.
  5. Creating strategies: The coach helps the client create and implement strategies to achieve their goals, using NLP techniques such as visualizations, affirmations, and anchoring.
  6. Monitoring progress: The coach regularly checks in with the client to assess progress towards their goals, and adjusts the coaching approach as needed.
  7. Providing feedback: The coach provides constructive feedback to the client, helping them to identify areas for improvement and build on their strengths.
  8. Closing the coaching relationship: The coach and the client work together to ensure that the client is equipped with the tools and strategies they need to continue making progress on their own.

Overall, NLP coaching is a holistic approach that focuses on developing the client’s mindset, communication skills, and emotional intelligence to help them achieve their goals and create lasting change.

In this course, you’ve been laying the foundations of a great coach.

Understanding, Rapport, Language, How the Mind Works, The Structure of a client’s Subjective Experience, Pacing and Leading, Metaphors, and simple thinking strategies…these foundations are enough for you to start having heartfelt coaching conversations…

Now is the time to get clear of the differences between life coaching in the traditional sense and NLP. It’s very simple, and this presentation will clear up any misunderstandings and give you some clarity.

Coaching enables people to
• Perform new tasks
• Develop new skills
• Solve problems for themselves
• Build up self-confidence
• Reframe their life
It operates in different areas and in different
guises, for example
• Career Coaching
• Executive/Corporate Coaching
• Performance Coaching
• Life Coaching
• Sports Coaching

When is Coaching appropriate?

• As an intervention that is part of a wider development programme:
• Navigator (Men’s Development);
• Women Making Choices/Springboard (Women’s Development);
• Management Development.
• Or purely as a stand-alone intervention that is for self-development/
personal development;
• Whenever it is about one-to one.

Executive Coaching

• Helping the individual executive who requires new skills for a new position due to a change in organisational structure
• Working with the manager being groomed for promotion
• Coaching high-performing executives whose personality style impacts negatively on their relationship with peers, staff, and clients
• Working with executives wishing to develop their career paths and prospects
• Coaching as a follow-on from 360-degree performance appraisals Increasing the executive’s capacity to manage an organisation – planning, organising, controlling, visioning, developing others…
• Increasing the executive’s psychological and personal mastery skills such as self–awareness, recognition of ‘blind spots’, defences and limiting thoughts, emotional effectiveness
• Improving the executive’s balance between work and life demands
• Improving the executive’s leadership, management and team-building skills
• Coaching an executive to work more effectively within a changing organisational  structure
• Working with a leader to coach others in transition

Business Coaching

• Organisational restructuring
• Establishing a coaching culture
• Strategic Planning
• Performance management appraisals
• Developing change initiatives
• Establishing approaches to deal with resistance to change
• Business rejuvenation and growth
• Succession planning
• Identifying critical issues in the organisation
• Improving the work climate and morale of groups
• Working with individuals and group transition

Here are some examples of the issues people want coaching around…

• “I’m in the wrong job but can’t change it”
• “I don’t know why I am doing this job, I hate it”
• “I worry about my ability to do the job I am in”
• “I just can’t seem to get through to my staff”
• “My staff keep leaving, and I’m beginning to feel its me”
• “I got passed over for promotion and I know I can do a better job than
the person who got the job. I don’t know what to do now”
• “I’m stuck in a rut and bored silly”
• “I work long hours and my personal life is nonexistent”
• “I have to do this job because I have a mortgage to pay”
• “I want to take my career to the next stage but am unsure in which
direction to go”
• “I want to start my own business but do not have the confidence”
• “I want to start my own business but am afraid of the risks”
• “I want to start my own business but I have a job that pays well already”

Background of Coaching

• Coaching has its origins in sport;
• One-to-one teaching (often remedial);
• Early coaching activity was based on a deficiency model:
• Someone else knows and they can tell me!
• Direct transfer of skill or knowledge from master to the learner!
• Cloning!
• Result was dependency.
• Humanistic psychology proposed another way

We Needed A Better Model!

Pe = Po-I
Performance = Potential – Interference
The answer lies within the Coacher
The Coach works with the Interference on the Potential with the Coacher;
The answer lies with the Coacher!
Draw that out…
Coacher can then move on!

A Coaching Toolbox

Coaching: Some Assumptions

It is not
• Training
• Teaching
• Therapy
• Mentoring
• Counselling
It is:
• Client-focused
• Supportive
• Exploratory
• Developmental
• Goal-directed etc.

Coaching – The SCORE Model

Tasks for the Coach

• To provide a safe environment for the Coacher
• To ensure that the process is Goal-directed
• To provide a developmental experience for the Coacher
• To listen
• To feedback to enable the Coacher to make sense of what is being said
• To reframe
• To offer total commitment to success
• To structure the Coaching experience through GROW, SCORE

Tasks of the Coacher

• To take some form of responsibility for their own development
• To develop an increased self-awareness
• To explore their own potential
• To work hard in some areas
• To acknowledge what can and what cannot be done
• To acknowledge that the answer lies within!

Overview of The Coaching Process

The Coaching Cycle

The Spectrum of Coaching Skills

Life Coaching with NLP and traditional coaching models.

Why do we have Coaching Models?
In this programme, you’ve been laying the foundations of a great coach. Understanding, Rapport, Language, How the Mind Works, The Structure of a client’s Subjective Experience, Pacing and Leading, Metaphors and simple thinking strategies…these foundations are enough for you to start have heartfelt coaching conversations…
However, when starting to coach, it can be helpful to have a framework or conscious process in place to ensure that you cover all the key elements with your client. You don’t have to but it’s definitely useful when starting out. You want to do a great job so starting with a model that’s tried and tested over the last few decades may be a good place to start.
As you grow more as a coach, you will find that you will develop your own style and possibly your own model which you will adapt, depending on the client you are working with. There are numerous models to choose from, but the common themes relate to developing goals for your clients, exploring what is happening and facilitating them moving forward by action.
Depending on the type of coaching you are doing may influence the coaching model you adopt, as some are more business focussed.

The GROW model of coaching
This model was developed in the 1980’s by Sir John Whitmore with Alan Fine and Graham Alexander through his work with senior executives. It has since been adopted by numerous coaches and organisations as an industry standard. We recommend you invest in his book “Coaching for Performance” Goal – These are the measurable outcomes or outputs. What does the client want to achieve and how will they know when they have it.
Reality – This is where the coach will explore what’s happening right now and is generally the area where good coaches will uncover the real issues/underlying challenges

Options – The coach will draw out all the possible solutions that the client can consider and facilitate them to choose the preferred solution
Will/Way forward – This is where discussions related to the possible implications or obstacles for the chosen option take place. The client then commits to take action, identifying the steps they need to take. There may also be discussions about what support they need and how they will hold themselves accountable. As an additional guide, you will find in your portal some GROW Model questions to help you get insight into the type of powerful questions you can ask clients. Remember to use question softeners. E.g. I’m curious, I’m wondering…why do you do x ?

The OSCAR model of coaching
Another business model which has been adopted by the Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM), but has its roots in GROW. It was developed by Karen Whittleworth and Andrew Gilbert.
Outcome – The destination, similar to Goal in GROW Situation – The starting point. This is where you get clarity around where the coacher is
right now. It’s about raising awareness of the person being coached
Choices and Consequences – The route option. GROW it’s about getting the coacher to generate as many alternative courses of actions as possible and increase their awareness of the consequences of each choice
Actions – The detailed plan.
Review – making sure you are on track. This is where the coach helps the coacher to check that they are on course

The Score model of Coaching – Developed by Robert Dilts and Todd Epstein in 1987.
S – Symptoms – What’s the problem? What do you want to change? What’s wrong?
C – Causes – What is the root of the problem? What does the client think is causing the problem?
O – Outcome(s) – What do you want? What are your dreams? What is your Goal?
R – Resources – What resources does the client have access to? Inner and exterior resources
E – Effects – What effects will be achieving the GOAL have? Who, what, where, and when will it impact on?

Question to reflect on:-
1. What is the purpose of a coaching model?
2. Why do you think that there are different coaching models in use?
3. Exploring different Coaching models (If you google , you’ll find many many different coaching models) and decide what you consider to be the important elements of a good Coaching Model.
4. David Key created the PRESENT Goal-setting model in 2006, and it has proved to be very effective in his work with clients. What 4, 5, 6 or 7 word acronym can you come up with and what does each element refer to in the context of a Coaching model or if you prefer, a Goal Setting Model ?
5. Remember, great questions move clients…

1. Consider how you would use a coaching model when coaching a client? Write down your observations.
2. Practice a coaching session on a volunteer using one of the models described in this module. Write down your observations and learnings. Discuss these with a friend.
3. Using the Coaching Model that you are created, and any learning from the previous exercise, test your model on a couple of volunteers. Writing down your observations

Coaching with T-GROW Model

The particular issue or challenge that has led the client to book an appointment with you. Goals
What is it that you want to achieve, both in this session and ultimately?
How could you state that positively? (if stated negatively)
How will you know when you have achieved it?
When do you want to have achieved it by?
How will you measure your achievement along the way?
If you can have this, right now, would you take it?
What’s happening now regarding this issue?
What specifically have you done so far towards achieving this?
What has stopped you?
How much control do you personally have over the outcome?
What’s your main concern about this goal or challenge?
What resources do you have already that can help you achieve this? E.g. skills, time, money,
energy, support,
What extra resources will you need to achieve this goal and where could you get them?
Who else may be affected by this goal?
Who else knows about your desire for this goal?
Who else could you ask for help when achieving this goal?
What are all the different ways that you could approach this issue?
What else could you do?
What if you had more time, control, money, power or energy?
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
If you were advising a friend, what would you say?
If you could start from scratch, what would you do?
Who do you know or know of, who is already achieving this? What do they do?
I know, you said you can’t but if you could, what do you think it would be?
I know you can’t but if you could just think of three more things you can do. Will
Which of your options will give you the best results?
Which option appeals to you most or feels best?
Which option would give you the most satisfaction?
So, which options do you choose?
Will this option take you to your final goal?
What could arise or hinder you from starting?
What obstacles will you need to overcome on your way?
When will you start?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how certain are you that you will take this action?
What stops your certainty being 10 out of 10?
What could you do to raise your certainty to 10 out of 10?
Who needs to know what your plans are?
What support do you need and from whom?
What will you do to obtain their support, and when will they do it?
What can I do to support you?

So now, the only thing to do is get ready, set, and go!

Congratulations on completing your program.

You may be wondering what the next step is…well, with practice and a deeper understanding, you can progress to simple coaching conversations that change a person’s entire life, not just one area of their life. That’s Transformational Coaching!

I hope you’ve enjoyed learning the basics of coaching and NLP and looking forward to hearing and seeing how you get on or perhaps at one of our events or other programmes.